Erik's thoughts on "Bullet to the Head"

     Providing what it promises, Walter Hill's bluntly and perhaps today offensively titled Bullet to the Head opens with a soaring bullet piercing through the opening studio logos. We've hit the creative peak and the damn thing hasn't even started yet. 

     Flashy yet ugly, simple yet clumsily structured (serpia toned flashbacks provide the needless expository secrets), Bullet to the Head is a New Orleans-set movie where everyone is either tattooed, corrupt, or a combination of the two. The city lights shine so bright that drivers could easily get distracted and hit a passing feline (an inspired visual gag, it proves). Sylvester Stallone, now sixty-six years old, plays an above the law hit man forced into a buddy-cop movie where the ultimate MacGuffin is a flash drive and the ultimate villain is a larger than life pro-wrestler type with distinguishable eyebrows and a less than distinguishable name: Keegan. If the idea of a hit man and a cop (Sung Kang) joining forces to fight evil inspires interest, this still won't be the movie for you. 

     If you love the voice of Mr. Stallone, however, narrating throughout, then maybe it is. Realizing that Bullet to the Head's plot will not be its selling point, the strongest choice Hill makes is by then occasionally focusing on the lengthy passing of time and the visible effects of aging. Using headshots and film stills from Stallone's earlier work, the director takes us through the mugshots of Bonomo's existence, providing the film with its only resemblance of an authentic characterization. Like much in the film, the mugshot sequence may inspire some snarky laughter, but it does more to make us fully realize Bonomo than the addition of a daughter and an explosive-ladden "man cave" cabin in the Bayou ever could. 

     The film does occasionally feature enjoyable examples of excess, whether it be the performance by Christian Slater or the topless costume party his character throws for slimy friends and confidants (it's like that party scene in The Master but with more masquerade masks). There's also something to be said for a shot of the dastardly Keegan's head rising up from the water as an homage to Coppola's Apocalypse Now – Keegan's overzealous chutzpah in general provides for an entertaining evening, right down to the finale which has him abandon his gun for a preferred dueling axe battle. "What are we, Vikings?" Stallone's character subsequently jokes, and for a brief second, Hill's entire movie makes remarkable sense.

Not Recommended